Jack's KingShiT Index

Omfg I was so tired just then, I went to the toilet to sleep for 10mins. Ludicrous! Everyone must’ve thought I was having sex or masturbating or sth cos I came out with my hair all messed up and a dead left leg.

I…am…overworked….

Anyway digression aside, to the purpose of this post:

According to Jack in his daily abuse/rant-email to me, there is a KingShit Index on choosing the right guy. No actually, it started from Warren. This is so hilarious I have to post it but I really hope no one gets offended cos its all good fun.

WZ: so atm, there is the *beep* man, *beep* man, and *beep* man..haha..and the Pole man, and the car crash man. dude..do u want to make some money, can i send u on dates with ppl and i ll charge them $1000 each. all u gotta do is reject them at the end of the night, by the end of the year we ll have $365,000 bucks which means u won t need any man then..hahaha . Look, the way you see it is like this, its all a process of elimination. So far, lets delete *beep*man..cause his just a total random..so all u have is *beep* and *beep* - then categorise them into categories, whichever one ends up with the most points….WINS

JH: So how do u categorise them? I’ve invented the “KingShiT index” so you can take that as a benchmark.

Here’s a starter:

Cock size Points

1-2in = 1
2-3in = 2
4-5in = 3
5-6in = 4
6-7in = 5
7-8in = 6
>8in = 5

Salary:

30-40k = 1
40-50k = 2
50-60k = 3
60-70k = 4
70-80k = 5
80-90k = 6
90-100k = 7
100-150k = 8
>150k = 9
>1mil = 20

Etc. u can start applying this to all aspects of a man like basketball, tennis, arm span, height, muscle mass, bicep width and whatever.

Very informative dickheads, but how about things that matter such as loving me, being nice to my family, generosity, respect towards my integrity, inverse level of selfishness, knowing when to act dumb, level of tolerance towards my crap, level of maturity, level of perseverance, ability to control temper, timeliness of attention/affection, ability to predict/prevent conflict, willingness to sacrifice, reliability and spontaneity sans volatiliy, worldliness and intelligence, adeptness in getting my friends to like him, competence and resourcefulness, proficiency in understanding subtle nuances, command in spoken Chinese, likelihood of cheating, likelihood of being excellent @ covering up his cheating so that I would never know (if it absolutely has to happen)…. and whatever.

Plus I wouldn't even know how to measure cock size in inches...

Talking about big, check out XXtina's ridiculously humungous BOOBS. Like OMG does childbirth do this to you?? Cos if so, get me knocked up now!






Very lovely. Too bad she only got $1.5m for these pics - as opposed to Angelina who got $4m for Shiloh and JLo who will get $6.5m for her twins...

Its a tough life for little XXtina with the big knockers...

Finally, can I just say that its sad that Pink and hubby Carey the motorcross racer (niiiice) have split up. Not that I ever understood what he saw in her...

She's a bit rank, yes? I remember hearing her being interviewed on a radio segment once and shes was protesting against KFC mistreating their chickens and I was like --- what?? They FRY those chickens after they mistreat them and we EAT them. WHO CARES.

Yuuuum. KFC.....