Why I hate Chinese airlines...

I just arrived and I'm exhuasted. Spent the whole day running around doing my own dress fitting, and then a fitting for Ange's bridesmaid gown.

Anyway, more on that later, I have a gripe and it ITCHES!!!

Hear me out...

I never fly Air China or China Eastern. I hate them cos they don’t have personal TV sets, decent food, people with class, or anything that resembles a snippet of good service.

But now I can say that I truly truly loathe this airline.

I had to fly China Eastern this time from Shanghai because it was the only airline available for the time and route I wanted. BIG MISTAKE. MASSIVE FAIL!!!

When I first got on the plane, I was sitting on the aisle of the middle section (as I requested) and there was 2 seats in between me and the girl on the other side of the aisle. Perfect, I could get some sleep!

I run off to the toilet to wash my face, brush my teeth and apply super intensive night crème, excited about the prospects of a decent night sleep in economy class.

When I get back to my seat, there is a Chinese guy sitting next to me with his stuff all over my seat. His wife is sitting where the other girl used to be, and the seat between them is empty. I ask him – “Is this your seat?” to which he grunts a yes, even though I know that is BULLSHIT. I then ask the stewardess if he is allowed to just sit next to me, and she said that there is no rule against people sitting in empty seats anywhere they want. HUH!

So then she tries to find me another seat and tells me there is one next to the window, but there is a guy next to me. Whats the point, then?? I wanted the seat next to me to be empty. Any other time I would have just left it alone, but I was furious at this peasant man and I tapped him on the shoulder, woke him up, and asked him very nicely if he could move over one seat to be next to his wife, seeing as he wasn’t even supposed to be sitting there.

He says “Why should I move over? My wife wants to sleep.”

OMFG.

“ We all want to sleep”, I reply. “And this isn’t even your seat.”
“It IS my seat”, he demands.
“Then why weren’t you there before? When I came back from the toilet you were here, but not when we got on the plane. That means this is not your seat. Show me your ticket then.”
“Why should I? I’m sitting here now, so it’s my seat.”

Ok, this sounds like I was being a bit forceful or rude in English, but in Chinese I swear it came out totally differently. I was saying "不好意思先生， 请问 ..." and everything (if you can read Chinese you’ll know what I mean).

Anyway, his wife then sticks her head over and tells me she wants to sleep. OMFG I wanna sleep too., I havent had more than 4hrs a night for the last 5 nights cos I've been in SH, you trashbag! I’m totally over it by now, so I take out my laptop and place it on his tray and then squeeze my LV bag and my DSLR onto his lap. Immature, but I don’t care.

Neither does he. He just goes back to sleep.

FML.

I contemplate going to the other seat the stewardess recommended, but that would mean I am now giving the mean guy an empty seat! So both him and his wife will be comfortable, while I’m squeezed next to some other guy who is probably just as rude.

I cant believe my bad luck by now, especially since I need to go straight to Joanne for a dress fitting as soon as I get off the plane. I just know I’m gonna look like shit.

They say China is a collective society but is it really? People are only collective to their friends, colleagues, family and others that can give them 好处．But the reality is that noone give a fuck about anyone outside of that circle.

As much as I love this country, I can understand why people like Natellie who have lived here for years are numbed by the politics, corruption and rudeness of the people. Now when she walks down the street and someone asks her for directions, she just waved her hand for them to go away. And that is perfectly fine.

I moved to the other seat.

It turned out to be a lady next to me, and she was so lovely. I apologized for coming over, and she didn’t mind at all – and even helped me with my bag and laptop. I guess this is good karma for deciding not to argue with the dickhead guy, but I was so mad that I couldn't sleep the whole night, not even for a minute. DIES!!!

So I watched all these weird movies and one called 花花警察 with 陈昆 in it, who I love, so that kinda made me feel better...

Oh btw me and Rebecca made it on some Chinese online magazine! HAHA she's s smart, she managed to find it :D

Click here and here to see the pics.

Shanghai Gracie-style...

My trip starts off with a male steward on the plane trying to pick me up and follow me all the way out of the airport... but forget about that. I have no time for 那种不要脸的男人.

Off the plane and onto People 7, one of my favorite bars that has no sign - just a hazy symbol on the ground, and a secret entrance that you have to figure out the code to, otherwise the door wont open. Love.


Its an oldie but a goodie and I like this place, so I told Rebecca (ex-colleague from Taiwan) to meet me there. We were united! It was love at once! We look so into each other, huh?






















She gave me the funniest presents - a 双喜 for our house for the wedding, and a 肚兜 for the night of the wedding... its like what Chinese virgin brides used to wear when they get deflowered by their husband for the first time. I just put it straight on over my top in the bar. HAHAHAHA~~~

傻妞and 奢妞together again:

Next day, Nat had to work so we went to the qipao shops to get my tailored qipao (chonsums) fixed. I got 2 made last time and havent even worn them yet, but they are too big for me now (*yay*). We tried on everything and took pics :D



I bought a new navy and white one :) Then we headed to this area in Tianzhifang and took heaps of pictures. I think I have some super good ones, but I wanna wait until I get a chance to photoshop the colour before I put them up.

Oh, I also got my picture taken by some magazine:

We had a delicious lunch at ginger with great drinks and possibly the best pho I have ever had... seriously! Better than anything I have tasted in Bankstown or Vietnam. If you are ever in Shanghai the pho here is a must try!!!

Me....

Dinner with the whole crew at 锅比碰大, my favorite hotpot restaurant. So happy that everyone still remembers what I love, and even got me a cake :)

These are quite possibly some of my most favorite people in the world. Jay is SO FAT now, he's 105 kilos PUAHAHAHAHAHAHA... but I have much love, much love for them all!!

Btw I had my teeth whitened, dont know if you can tell from the pics but I think it makes a big difference! So painful though... :(






















This is Natellie's dog, Pogi. He kept me up for the first 2 nights cos he wouldnt stop licking and humping me, then jumping madly on this squeezy chicken toy for the entire 4hrs I tried to sleep... both nights. Needless to say, I am exhausted right now and have massive bags under my eyes. I look weary and I'm fat from all the food I've been eating...












































Yes, he is really cute and I luv him but here is the saddest news. I am still trying to be ok about this...

Pogi chewed my SD card tonight and killed it. I have lost all the pictures that I took today as well as some from yesterday, and they were the most amazing of the whole trip so far. We had a super delicious breakfast, got our hair done, then went to level 86 of the new Grand Hyatt in Pudong for high tea and the view was stunning, amazing! I got the best pics of food, scenery and Jay & Mandy's little boy... then at night we had hairy crab and it was sooo good as well. But alas, I have lost it all. There are no words for how sad I am right now...

This is all that I have from today, from Mandy's camera:






















Yep, thats it.

I have lost more than 100 photos OMG...

It's a sad sad day.

I will try to recover the pics from a computer shop, but it may cost a lot or take a really long time... dont know if it is even worth it :(

xxoo

Eats, Shoots and Leaves

For anyone that has read this book or is pedantic about grammar, this post is for you.

I have had it for a while now, sitting forlornly on the bookshelf patiently awaiting that rainy day when someone would pick it up... and today I did. In fact, once I started I was hooked and I devoured nearly the whole thing in one sitting.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves is a book about punctuation. How interesting, you mumble sarcastically under your breath, but it really got me thinking:

In recent years, I have noticed my level of English deteriorating. Living in Asian countries and communicating with language-impaired imbiciles has forced me to no longer use contractions in speech and forget about any vocabulary longer than five words. One thing I am proud to say is that my grammar and spelling, thank God, has remained intact. Sure, I write with convoluted expression in my blog, and often disregard all rules in grammar etiquette, but I know how to meticulously edit an article and I can churn a perfect media release out to you in 20 minutes.

In fact, I never leave home without a notepad and pen in my bag - the signs of a true writer. If you must know, I wrote this post in my notebook this morning on the subway (and no, I refuse to post from my iPhone)...

Nevertheless, my English has languished. Sometimes I remind myself that I used to be an accelerated 3/4 Unit HSC English teacher, for goodness sakes! Where has all my knowledge of tautology and rhetoric gone? Do I even know how to use euphemism anymore?

Working for US companies has Americanized my good British English - think: a former North American editor in Beijing who forced me to remove all the "u"s in words like "labour" and "glamour"; and an incompetent editor here in Seoul who doesnt give two hoots whether I write it three different ways in the same sentence.

Not to mention that I married a man who used to send market reports each day to the whole office with "Good mourning" as the greeting (he doesn't do that anymore, but I still feel like he needs a lesson on apostrophes and their use in possesive nouns). When I have kids, there is one thing for certain that they will possess, and thats a fine understanding of punctuation & grammar.

For anyone that doesn't believe that proper English can affect the way you are viewed, the way you view others, and social class in general - you are most terribly misguided. It may be a dying art, but it is the way of the select few who will undoubtedly take over the world.

Period.

No pun intended.

And what is the point of this ridiculous post, you wonder? Well, it is to signal the beginnings of a very large project I am about to embark on. Yes, you heard right. I am going to write that book. No more procrastination, being unmotivated and scared. It is happening people, and you heard it here first.

xxoo

Buh-buh Seoul... for a while

So I've realised now that it is too hard for someone like me to eat less - I just cant do it. So instead I am trying to eat early and healthier.

In fact, this is what I have been having every single day for lunch - rice, side dishes, soup, fish/meat. I always ask for seconds and thirds of the side dishes, and I'm always extra full, but at least its not muffins and waffles...



























For dinner, nothing has changed. Fancy Indian buffet - copius amounts of roti and naan, neverending servings of curry... AHhhhhhhhh....













... and Farmer's Bennigans DELISH!!!


Meanwhile, the best thing to do before I leave for Shanghai is to stand at the front of the mosh pit @ the Beyonce concert! WOOT!

We were early, super keen:

The most beautiful person in the world...








Me getting trampled by all the people when Beyonce jumps into the pit:

I will probably be facebook-less and maybe even blog-less for a week in Shanghai... the Chinese government has blocked social networking sites just because. They did it during the Sichuan earthquakes and now again cos of the Xinjiang riots. Ridic. I have a million things to say on this topic, but I'll save it for another day...

Ciao
xxoo